1. I will write a blog everyday, short or long it doesn't matter but if I really want to help my creative juices start flowing again I need to make myself write, a lot.
2. I will not turn it to a mum thing where the only thing I talk about is Boy. I can talk about him, but I have other thoughts still, really I do.
3. I will not put pressure on myself to make it great, or even good. It is an out let for me and I don't want to be caught up trying to think of the cleverest topic to tackle today. I want more to just type away and see what comes out. I think sometimes I don't even know what's going on in my head anymore, it is such a whirlpool in there.
My blog is almost exactly 48hrs old and I have broken all three!! Other than family members (and Rae, who I count as family now - sorry Rae you are stuck with us for life!) only two other people have even read this silly blog I call my own and already I feel the pressure mounting!
Yesterday was a busy day for us, Boy and I left the house at 8:30am and didn't get home again until ten to 6 in the evening. But Boy went to bed with out any hassles at 7:20 so I could have quite easily typed a little something. However I had spent all day stressed over what to write, will it be any good, do I have anything to say. Rae reminded me that the last 12 months of my life could fill book, not to mention the first 22 years. So I went to bed mad at myself for not writing something but also trying to now narrow down the now millions of things swimming around my head.
This morning, after an amazing sleep-in until 7am I woke fresh and ready to live my best life (thanks Oprah). So in following rules 1 and 3 I was going to fail rule 2 miserably! While I have many tales to tell, some funny some sad all I wanted to share with the world this morning is that Boy is getting a tooth or two!
It is painful for the little guy (as any mother knows). Hurts me to see him hurting, hurts me too that we are back to waking 3 or 4 times each night and he refuses to sleep during the day unless I feed him to sleep (a habit I had managed to kick only two short weeks ago). But despite this I can not contain my excitement! Its just another milestone out of some many he is passing so quickly but they all as exciting as the last!
Since I'm talking about Boy, I'll just keep going! I cant help it, when someone asks how he is I launch into an epic account of his last fews days. Even when you see their face go blank and theirs eyes are screaming at me "you are boring me right now" I cant make my mouth stop. I am one of THOSE mums we all vow we wont be, that is until we have our own and suddenly realise, those mums don't mean it any more then I do - your children just consume you! And that's not such a bad thing really.
Speaking of which, yesterday I tried to explain to a friend who is has no kids, how much I love Boy. It was a fruitless exercise as you just cant put the feeling into words. I was saying things like "I love him so much, some days I think my chest will explode" and "I thought I knew love, I love my mum and dad etc but this is just a new level. I love now like I never knew I could."
Her reply was "Yeah, that's how I feel about my BF' . . .um no I don't think it is quite the same, and she will work that out when she has kids of her own - so I just smiled!
Well its been three hrs since I started writing this today and I am having a fabulous day! Boy is sleeping soundly, omelet for brunch and now I am chilling in our little house by the sea and the breeze is beautiful. Rae is cutting up material as she is all gun hoe about a sewing project she has in mind (but she can not sew) so I better go and offer any help I can. Might start a little project of my own.
Wow this post is much more about nothing than I had hoped for - but it is only post #2 so I need to remind myself NO PRESSURE!
Tomorrow's might be more insightful - but it probably wont be.
TTFN
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